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May 2001 - Posts

現實中的夢境...
小湯生活曆.日期: 2001/05/26



夢境...
如何在現實中出現...
如何在現實的意識當中...
體會夢境裡的美感...
這種機會... 或許不是常常有的吧...

週末的午夜...
一大堆人...
聚集在八斗子漁港旁的小山丘...
一個靠近出海口的小山丘...
往海的方向看去... 可以看到龜山島...
往旁邊的山看去... 可以看到九份的點點燈光...
以前朋友告訴我... 這個地方叫做忘憂谷...
可是... 沒有人知道這個地方真正叫什麼名字...
但... 來過的人應該都會覺得... 這是個很美的地方...

一個很 PLUR 的 Rave Party...
天氣微陰... 但是沒有下雨...
清風徐徐... 一種春中帶著夏的感覺...
空氣是清新的... 混合著淡淡的海的味道...
我看著海面上的漁船點點... dance with music...
看著天跟海連成一線...
彷彿... 就像一片靜止的畫一樣...
看似夢境... 但卻又如此的真實...
快節奏的舞曲仍然在放著...
可是我的心... 竟然跟這幅海天一線的畫...
一樣的安詳... 一樣的平靜...

五點多... 天慢慢亮了...
天空中變換著顏色... 景物慢慢的鮮明了起來...
天微亮的海岸... 每一秒鐘的變化...
都讓我感嘆著... 大自然的神奇...
還有自己的幸運...

或許... 有很多的事情...
不是想要就得的到的...
只能... 在這些我們想要的事情來臨到面前的時候...
好好的珍惜...
擁有她的每一分每一秒...

"Enjoy the moment..."
我在現實中的夢境裡...
不斷的這樣的告訴我自己...

或許沒有機會體會我的感覺...
但或許... 有一天... 你也體會的到...
現實中的夢境的世界...

Posted: 2001/5/29 13:58 by rextangtw
Filed under:
lonely sunday...
小湯生活曆.日期: 2001/05/20

I spent 24 hours staying in the office without sleep...
from Friday evening to Saterday afternoon...
just trying to paying some full attention on my work study...
24 hours past... I got my reward...
finally got some answers that I could not get for the past weeks...
and finally could do something to safe my fellows' emails a little bit...
24 hours for an answer... still felt too long to get it...
or else that means I am getting old for those numbers and logics...
I don't know...

it just started raining the whole afternoon after I got home...
so I gave up going out with my friends of my dept....
it's weird that I still could not fall into sleep....
even though it's been a whole day without taking a rest...
so I decided to stay at home, lying down on my bed...
and watching TV all day long...

didn't know how was I getting into sleep...
but I did remember that you've called at some time...
when I got my concious back...
it's been 5 pm of Sunday...
a day was just passed of my life...
maybe it should be fair to working for 24 hours and sleep for 24 hours...
I guess...

after taking a shower... I started thinking what should I do ...
or... where should I go ....
this kind of time... should be the dinner time...
but I was not hungry...
this kind of evening...
seems should be a perfect time ...
to find someone out and having a movie or something...
but I don't know who should I call...
and suddenly I felt so pathetic...
pathetic about my life for now...
I wanna call somebody just for a dinner or something else....
but I could not decide that who is the one I wanna call the most...
ok... I am pathetic... fine...
life gotta go on... there must be something I can do it alone...
so I am starting thinking about ...
where should I go ... just...
go some places that I can do something...
and... there are people around...
to avoid of me being feeling lonely in this seems safely and wonderful...
but actually missed something's place...
and more pathetical things happened...
I didn't even know where I should go...
I wanna go out and I didn't know where I should go !?
this is really really completely weird to me...
I am just kinda of lost myself in the concious world...
even without a reason...
what's wrong with me... I asked myself again and again...

so finally I still went out...
having some snacks in the cafe downstairs of my place...
and riding to somewhere I didn't know...
after-rained-sunday-night's unsympathetical streets...
just made me feel more worse...
especially on the time where I didn't know where to go...
just remind me that I should go somewhere where there got some people around...
so I just rode to the railway-station area...
took a walk there... went to NOVA-Mart to look for some computer stuffs...
went to the bookstores to take a look of the latest press of tech. books...
having a dinner somewhere... alone...
leaving that area... went home...
and before I went home...
drop by to that familiar blockbuster...
just rented 4 videos ...

finally I got home... in this kind of peaceful sunday night...
10pm ... I got 4 videos...
so I just started from the first one... all the way...
until the last one... until... there is light... coming from the window...
killing the time that should not belong to the person who is alone...
pretty pathetic... isn't it? um.... I think so...
the time that I know I should and had to do something conciously...
but emotionally... I just didn't wanna do anything conciously during that time...
conflictly of pisces' feelings... what can I say...
I can only just sitting back to my notebook...
opening my website, which was never been logged in for a while...
and starting a new article ... writing down those weird feelings...
to remind me to figure out what's going on with myself some other day...

if you are a pisces... probably you know what the feelings I am saying...
if you are not... probably it still happens those feelings sometimes in your time...
maybe it just shows that we are still alive and got feelings...
and we can still feel something that inside our mind...
or else... maybe you are telling yourself...
that you are already ....
already tired about the life style you are having right now...
I don't know... maybe it's about the time to getting some changes...
or... it's about the time to settle down for a while...
or... it's about the time to moving on further...
anyway... maybe it's about the time...
to get back to the right track and make everything back to the way it should be...

I don't know... the only thing I know is that ...
I watched 4 movies in a night...
and I got 24 hours that need to be conciously awake and doing my work again...
thank GOD I am backing to the work days...
at least on those days I know where I can go and what I can do...
still... pretty pathetic...

kind of weird weekend... isn't it?


Posted: 2001/5/21 8:11 by rextangtw
Filed under:
福特 Focus 的網路宣傳 Flash CF...
小湯生活曆.日期: 2001/05/17

這是我的好兄弟 Vencent 前些日子以來的心血結晶...
片中的主角是我跟 Vencent 的朋友阿駒...
真人實地拍攝... 再製作成 Flash 的一支 CF...

這次公司承接福特 Focus Shop 的網站...
除了這支片頭的 CF 外...
Focus Shop 中對於車子的各項介紹...
也都是一支一支很有特色的 Flash 喔...
加上我覺得 focus 的確是一部不錯的車子...
所以... 覺得整個網站很酷...
恩... 銀河的視覺設計部... 已經有一定的水準...
可以做出有一定品質的作品囉... :)

有空去逛逛 Focus Shop 吧...
特別是... 你正想買車的時候...
這台車真的滿酷的... 我覺得...

Posted: 2001/5/18 8:59 by rextangtw
Filed under:
working plus depress plus wired feelings...
小湯生活曆.日期: 2001/05/10

cloudy day those days...
makes me feel lazy... feel sleepy... feel down...
waking up this morning at 8 o'clock
telling myself that I gotta get up for the class at 9...
but later I still go back to sleep until the afternoon...
and then feel so upset about myself of not been to the class...
don't know what's going on with myself in those days...
just... lazy about everything...

something happened and just made my whole time schedule settled down...
don't have to wondering how to choose the life anymore...
"it" had chosen for me already...
quite disappointed a thing, but can do nothing about it...
it's just the system...
and after trying for a long time...
I finally be beaten up and gave up the whole thing...
starting to believe that people can not change the fate that it should be...

working the whole night long to patch my computer system...
backing to the old time...
whole empty big office...
just me and the internet radio musics...
for the whole night long until I finish the patching...
outdoor become light from the dark...
time for my breakfast... which is been forgetten for so long a time...

I called you up in your morning time...
cause it's been more than one day without having your messeges...
I was just wondering why you disappeared...
and turned out that you are somewhere else instead your place...
something that you said you were not going to do turned out that you've did..
without telling me, even a notification...
I started thinking that should you tell me first before you go,
no matter you were going or not... or...
you don't have to tell me where you were going because it's not necessary to do so...
what relationship I thought that I think you should tell me and...
what relationship you thought that you don't have to tell me...
I started thinking about this kind of stupid questions...
if this is what you've said ... no pressure, no promise relation...
but I've somewhat amazing that I've starting caring those little things like this...
you must done something to me...
wired...

what should I do had already not the decisions that I could made anymore..
from now on... there seems no intersection anymore in my short-term life path...
maybe there also no other decisions I have to made for anything...
time will tell... and time already told...
and what I have to do is just finish the rest things that I should do before the end of the short-term path and getting into another stage...

a jump of life segments is coming soon...
although I still hope that I can make through it via another gateway...
anyway... I rather follow my fate this time... no more try ....

very depressed... to the bottom of the earth....
only one thing for sure... one must count on to oneself...
therefore makes that people been selfish is reasonable...






Posted: 2001/5/11 7:52 by rextangtw
Filed under:
silent weekend...
小湯生活曆.日期: 2001/05/04

夏天來了...
無聲無息的...
突然間... 就過完了春天...
當我開始覺得...
可以很安心的...
只穿著一件 T-Shirt 出門時...
我知道...
我最喜歡的夏天來了...

五月的第一天...
很習慣性的記起了她的生日...
剛離開不久的... 一切都還是很熟悉...
從我每天踏進家門開始...
所以... 我 Send 了一封 SMS 給她...
response time 是在凌晨的 4 點鐘...
我想.. 她應該有一個很棒的 birthday party 吧...
Happy Birthday again, on the net....

考完了期中考, 考完了研究所...
星期四的時候 party 到天亮...
party 到一半 mermaid send SMS 給我...
放榜了... 我世新筆試又過了...
是的.. "又"過了, 去年考上沒辦法去讀...
今年應該可以順利畢業了吧... 我想...
希望別再搞飛機...
不過還有口試... 希望可以順利過關...
看來... 9 月之後... 又多了一條路可以選擇了...
只是... 繞了一年... 可以選擇的 option 還是一樣...
沒什麼長進...

今天是個很 peaceful 的 Friday...
我很隨性的看著一篇一篇的 technical online book...
希望自己可以再長進一點...
看到睡著了... 醒來時發現同事丟下我跑去吃飯了...
他們不想吵醒我.. 我知道...
可能因為他們每次看到我都是一副很累的樣子...
所以... 我一個人... 走到興安街的頂記燒臘...
吃了一碗撈麵... 然後...
理所當然的外帶了一碗新加坡風味的芒果冰...
因為這是到這裡吃飯的主要目的...
這家店又讓我想起了在新加坡時的生活...

今天的一樓感覺有點冷清...
可能是因為 Vencent Brother 不在...
前一晚 party 完的空虛還在蔓延著...
索性... 收拾了東西...
回家... 決定... 週末關在家裡... 自閉...

自閉是需要一些東西的...
所以... 我在回家必經的 BlockBuster 停了一下...
租了三四部片子... 享受一下一個人的清靜...
一個人... 還是得生活下去的吧...

前一陣子看了 Coyote Ugly, 背景在 New York...
講的是 NY 的夜生活...
很喜歡它原聲帶裡的三首歌...
Can't fight the moonlight...
The right kind of wrong... and
But I do love you...
都是 LeAnn Rimes 唱的...

今天... 租了那部上次沒有租到的片子...
The Authum in New York...
講的是一個發生在紐約的愛情故事...
有點在電影裡看到了一些些的自己...
不過... 重點除了這個故事之外...
還有... 秋天的 Central Park...
WOW! 從電影裡看起來... 真的是很漂亮...
今年夏天... 我還會再到紐約一次...
體會一下... 綠意盎然的 Central Park...
我喜歡這個故事... 也喜歡這部電影...
還有... Sound Track 中的 Beautiful 這首主題曲...

繼續看了下一部片子...
Boys and Girls...
之前沒有看過幾次這部片的介紹...
不過超級出乎我意料之外的事情是...
這部電影的背景... 竟然是 UC Berkeley & San Francisco...
故事內容還算 ok...
不過... 一幕一幕的電影場景...
Berkeley, Telegraph Ave., Oakland, San Francisco,
Golden Gate Bridge, China Town, Fisherman's Wharf,
Palace of Fine Art, Cable Car...
and that one ticket for 2 movies' theater, someone told me before...
一次又一次的讓我想起... 當我今年一月站在那些地方的時候...
還有... 遇到的人... 去過的地方...
and those were really wonderful wonderful memories...

看完了電影... 腦海裡滿滿的都是回憶...
這樣充滿回憶的週末... 跟 party 到 pass out 的感覺...
是兩個極端... 但... both work fine with me...

計畫著六月底到八月底到 UCLA 的 summer session...
機位 book 好了, class 也已經 subscribe 了...
住 resident hall, 剩下手機跟車的問題要解決...
還有... 一堆還沒弄完的 projects...

兩個月在 LA, 在夏天的季節裡...
上次去只在 Santa Monica 停了兩天...
這一次... 我得好好的體驗一下... LA 的陽光跟海灘了...
還有... 再去一次 LasVegas, San Francisco, and NY... haha...

and before all this is coming soon,
I gotta settle down what I got to do here...
I hate this part, but I gotta do...

Silent Weekend, but feel like being fulfilled...
by those movies, and memories...


PS1: official website for the Autumn in New York is here.
PS2: official website for the Boys and Girls is here.

and for you, the song 'beautiful'. (to listen click here)
-------------------------------------
Title: Beautiful
Album: Soundtrack of the Autumn of New York
Artist: Jennifer Page

I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me
To feel your heart beat just one more time
I'm reaching back, trying to touch the moment
Each precious minute that you were mine
How do you prepare, when you love someone this way,
To let them go a little more each day?

The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn't waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we'e lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
'cause it was beautiful.
It was beautiful.

Some days missing you is overwhelming
When it hits me you'e not coming back
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered
Was it worth it for the time we had?
My thoughts get kinda scattered, but one thing I know is true
I bless the day that I found you, oh oh

The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we'e lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
'cause it was beautiful.
It was beautiful.

[musical bridge]

Oh, The rules we stepped aside
The fear that we defied
Oh, The thrill of the ride
The fire in our hearts that burned
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we'e lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
'cause it was beautiful.
So beautiful.
It was beautiful.


Posted: 2001/5/5 6:35 by rextangtw
Filed under: